Tuesday, June 22, 2010

我怎么了?

最近, 都在低潮的时期...也许没人注意到...也许根本没有人想注意....大家都以为我只是一时情绪不好,因为我都戴着个“没事” 的面具...

我很像和大家说:“我真的很累了!!"但是没人听得到吧....有时,选择错了...丢了工作,没朋友,甚至失去了爱情....我很常告诉自己,现在家庭有问题了,干嘛理有没有朋友的关心,有没有爱情的关怀...但是很多时候我做不到...很失败吧?

才发觉, 我越长大,我失去的越多了...从KL回来,原本是有好的plan,做份高工资的工作,然后去国外念书。。。现在不只要做工资没那么高的工,而且连在本地升学的梦也消失了....

今天,手痒又去看不该看的东西,嘴里和人说没事,但我心里总是隐隐作痛...人生才走到这里真就是那么多无奈吗....有时有种没法继续站起来的力量了...因为真的好累好累。。


不过,还好有我妈....真的很感谢上天给我这么好的妈妈....家里发生了事,还遇到麻烦时,她从不埋怨,总是想尽办法去解决...还有我爸,虽然不太会说话,也爱乱发脾气,但我知道,从他不辞辛劳的工作,身体虽然一直出状况,加上最近又遇到倒霉的事丢了工作...但是没关系,我也知道你累了...回来休息吧,是时候我替你们分担了....

朋友情可能可以一次吵架就没了;爱情可以一次误会就分了;但亲情不管几次的打击可是永不分离的...

现在我要做的是就是赚钱,而且要赚得多...因为有90% 的问题真的可以用钱解决的,包括爱情!!! 大家可能说我现实,但现实就是这么残酷...

我真心的祈求神,让我的心定下来,让负面的情绪不再进来我的脑袋里....让我有勇气再继续往前走吧!!

Monday, January 11, 2010

2010....

Haiz...duno y can nt sleep 2nite...feel so sien oso~ bt after chat wif sm1 feel beter a bit...

Hv such a long time din write my blog already...ok~nw writing d 1st blog for 2010...so i going to use "lojak" english...hope u guy can understd...XP

Erm...talk abt d year 2009, it wasn't a lucky number for mi....many bad thg happened tt tim...car accident, lost sm1 i vry love,hving hard working life at klang, 1 of my coli here die accidentaly...

Bt tt hard life reali make mi wake up & grow up alot...i strt to understd selfishness of human....mayb i too "guai" of person...so it reali take tim for mi to get use tis cruel fact of tis society....bt smtim still feel tire...

2010...i hope tis number will b my lucky no. for tis yr...sm more tis yr oso tiger yr~~IS MY YEAR~~YEAH~so gt to let d pass be the past....i kw may i gt hurt sm1 tt nt ungivable by her...bt i kw tts d past oldy...wat i can do nw onli wish her all d best & fd a beter man.....

CNY oso coming soon...i oso hope tt after tt i can reali figure out where is my way to go... i believe my mum put my name gt "YONG" = Brave...it mayb mean i nid to brave to face any obstacles...so i gt to chase for wat i want i future...nt jz tnk abt pass...

Smtim still will feel lonely...mayb smday can get use to it...bt hoping that smday sm1 wiling walk all d way wif mi....

Sunday, November 29, 2009

KLANG LIFE...

At Klang oldy past 5-6 months...time reali pass so fas until i oso duno hw i can withstand all d cruelness in society....

Mayb is d power of d music, especially one song---THE SHOW reali make my mind opened--"...I gt to let it go...jz enjoy shw".....wat a nice song...yup...life is a maze, no 1 kw wat happen d nxt...if smthg bad happen tt we cant do anythg abt it or hv done our best bt still cant get d result we expect, y nt jz enjoy d shw?

In tis society, i may b stil newbie, many thg duno; many thg may done wrg...smtim oso being bulied,been scolded...bt so wat? as long stil survive....i oso dnt care la~jz enjoy d shw....


Tis few months, reali make mi grown up alot....I nw strt to kw hw to talk wif adult, boss, even old man...nt to say vry good to it...bt a least kw a bit....many unfair thg i saw here...smtim he n can do tis, bt wen anoter guy did, ten kena tembak liao~

At here, every1 seen lik wear mask...gt all sorts of mask..smile 1, angry 1, tire 1....bt no matter wat tey put on...i kw jz a mask to protect temself....many actually nt feel happy to work here...so as i....

Living here oso make mi learn to get along wif loneliness....smtim will still miss abt sm1...bt wat to do? jz let it past...n enjoy single life here....


Nxt yr decided to stdy....Big Boss at our company wan mi to stay, ten work for part-tim...he xpect tt nxt tim i take over d place of HOD.....honestly say tt, wat a pleasure for mi....i reali appreaciate tt....bt i kw tt kind of environment is nt i want.....i will go to look for beter chance....mayb gt a bit risk...bt i wiling to try....if nt try...u nvr kw....

2moro another boss wan to c mi again...duno wat will he say to mi regard my resignation....bt i tnk i definately will go for stdy....n go back Miri to develop my career cz Miri still d best place cz its my hom twn...

nw stil left ard 1 months to go, nxt yr i sure i going to start my new life^^...

Sunday, August 9, 2009

梦想与现实。。。

在KLANG生活已经有两个月了。。。很多事,虽然还不能习惯,但是还是得接受很多残酷的事实。。。在这,虽然赚的钱比在美里那多很多,但生活不是很开心与自在。。。因为寄人篱下,什么都要看别人的脸色。。。与其没车,要坐别人的车有时都得等久久;说话也不能随心所欲,当初不明白这道理,就给人骂得很惨。。。



也许自己没经验,又或者太老实,总是给人嘲笑说像女孩子,很没用之类的话。。。都是针针见血。。。心里虽然很生气,但是却没法骂回他们。。有时真的觉得自己很没用。。。连这样都没反抗能力都没有。。。哎。。。



再来怎么说话在这社会真的很重要。。。有些人明明没料的,单靠一把嘴就能把人弄得服服帖帖。。我的阿头就是个好例子。。很多东西他都不会,但是讲的却可以天花乱坠,也够凶够直。。。虽然很多人不喜欢他,但是他在那都非常容易生存,而且奇怪的是他竟然可以有个好太太,好到不管他怎么骂她,甚至在众人面前骂他太太,她太太竟然还可以处处维护他。。。还说他人很好,只是脾气不好。。==!!



在外地工作,尤其这种船务公司,是要耐得寂寞感。。。在我们公司,不是老得可以做我阿公的,就是可以做我阿爸了那种年纪。。。能讲的话题当然也比较少。。。而且常常都要去码头,环境污染,地方又危险。。。。最近还有一位很好的同事意外跌入海身亡(愿他安息。。)。。。真的要处处都要非常小心。。。



所以风险高,自然回酬比较高咯。。。但是做的不开心,有时在问自己,值的吗?再来时间不定,有时拜六,礼拜,船到都要去工作。。。虽然合约说明是office hr。。。但是不去做,铁定给人骂,给人讲没上进心啦~懒惰啦~甚至生病想休息都给人讲。。。@#!¥%

在外地工作真的不容易的,处处要看人脸色。。。比起读书那时的压力,简直觉得考试什么的压力根本不是什么了。。。很多都跟我说要忍耐,以后就可以多钱赚。。。但是我发觉真的做得很乏味又不开心。。很多时候都要一个人面对各种问题。。。

也许我在我兴趣的行业,IT的领域可能赚得不多,但是起码是我自己兴趣的东西。。。现在做的既不兴趣,压力又大。。。有时真的很累。。。

梦想与现实,我该去追去那个呢?希望朋友们可以给我些建议。。先行告谢^^

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Let d pass b past...

2day i hv deleted o d blog tat talk abt btw mi n her...i kw i stil cant delete d feeling tat she hate mi o angry mi even disapointing abt mi...bt i jz wan to let go....i understand her feeling nw....mayb is mi d 1 done wrg....Sry mayb cant cure anymore....i jz hope she can live in beter life, find a beter guy tan mi, ten i happy liao~ jz hope tat she can stil rmb sm of d sweet memory btw us....even a little bit onli...jz wan to end here...let d pass b d past...

Friday, June 26, 2009

麻木的生活。。。

来到KLANG也差不多要到三个星期了。。。这里的生活可以几个字形容--“简单,快速,烦闷”。。。更不用说工作整天面对那个更年期的疯子啦。。。

请别说我毒了。。因为他比我毒上十倍。。。他是我的表伯,也是我工作部门的“阿头”。。。他在公司可是出了名的坏脾气。。。他可称得上是老顽固了。。。不用说,我这个新人,又没什么社会经验的“小弟”肯定是第一个中枪的~而且枪枪都见血。。。非把我骂的狗血淋头不可~@#!¥#%

这里可以很明显看的社会的现实。。。在公司的员工,很多都勾心斗角,争名夺利。。。而且都喜欢暗地里插你几刀~

可能我还不习惯吧~老一辈的员工都叫我要忍耐,要习惯,要学会保护自己。。。这时我才悟到学校叫的仁义道德,礼仪廉耻,在社会上都是废物。。。很多老板,阿头都是要对员工苛刻,压住员工才能爬到高处。。。人比较好的,善良的通常只能给人压着,像我一样...T.T..(真的不是臭美,我的善良都是给人压着的理由)

哎~真的好不喜欢这里的生活。。。只能麻木的先过活咯。。。